Braveheart Belles

Pity Party… for one!

PITY PARTY… FOR ONE.

I’m always praised on my positivity and more recently how well I’m looking for which I duly reply, “aww thanks, I’m doing good and feel great.” Internally, I want to scream, “I wish you could see my pain and how hard movement is, or even worse, when my medication wears off!”

It made me realise that I’m a very good actress. I wear a mask that shields the world of how I’m truly feeling. Well now, its ripped off for all to see. I don’t usually parade my pain but here it is folks. I’m hurting. The pain, so ferocious, I could vomit! 

Pain was one of my first Parkinson’s symptoms; a symptom that not everyone gets but something I’ve learned to live with but in addition a MRI concluded I have several bulging discs in my lower back (I reckon self inflicted with gardening). That along with the pain still felt in my cankle and spinal stenosis in my upper back isn’t making a Jolly Janet.

This has knocked my training out the window this week. I was due to ride lead on Saturday but I’ve pulled out of that. I’m currently seeking advice from a miracle physio. I’ve had to resign myself to the fact that my participation is seriously under threat. I’m worried and scared about that. I’m pretty stubborn (some may say stupid) when it comes to things like this and I know deep down I will give it a go but I may have to consider a plan B - I’m not sure what that looks like yet! 

Parkinson’s can add insult to injury! On Sunday, Gary and I came home and I went to save my flattened, wind hammered, sunflowers. There’s a patch of garden at the side of the house, where out of the abyss two beautiful rose bushes have arisen but the thorns on those beasts are lethal. After navigating my way through the thorns to get to the sunflowers, I soon realised that I didn’t have the strength to push the stick through the bark mulch. Also, my attempts at tying a knot, with string too long for the task in hand, was equally a failure; my hands didn’t have the dexterity or strength. The inevitable happened - my ‘go’ button switched to ‘off’ and I mean ‘off’ completely.  I felt my chest tighten, my voice lock-down, preventing me from shouting out and I couldn’t move.  My feet were concreted to the soft, bouncy texture of the barked area.  I have experienced this before but usually when I’m in a state of stress but on this occasion - no stress!! This is the PD symptom of ‘freezing?’ Cutting a long story short I was ‘stuck’ for 45 minutes, however, I’m grateful it wasn’t raining. Note to self - remember your phone!

False Memories… or is it?

False Memories… or is it?

I can’t express enough, how I feel about doing this route.  When I describe my previous experience with the words: ‘dread’ and ‘traumatised’ I think that says it all! But I need to change my mindset.  2019 was a pretty full on year with regards to my 50in50@50 challenge - a year long challenge that I created to pull me out of the darkness and raise funds for PUK, so in summary I was pretty tired.  So, are my memories false. Are them thar hills as bad as I remember? Well, I’ll find out tomorrow as Alison and I are heading that way to recce the harder part of the route! Wish us luck.

We’re doing this for Parkinson’s research and my main motivation is my bestie, Gillian, who is really struggling with this horrible condition and recently sustained a nasty head injury.

Flasks and false finishes.

Yesterday, Alison was keen to do a 40-50 miler but the weather forecast scuppered plans, opting for the indoor option instead. Alison has recently joined the Zwift platform where our avatars cycle along together! 

Admittedly, the thought of cycling that distance, indoors, didn’t fill me with joy and I wondered if I should mention this to Alison! I didn’t. I felt it was something she had to experience! My set up is at home, whilst Alison connects via the Wattbike at the gym. 

Unfortunately, due to the internet dropping, after 18 miles, I climbed off the bike, voicing every ache and pain. I had just asked Alison if she needed a saddle break and presumed that was the reason I couldn’t see her, thinking she nipped to the loo and perhaps downing a snack. Twenty minutes had passed before we connected again!  I had been sitting at the side of my bike whilst unbeknown to me, Alison was still pedalling away.  She was now on her 23rd mile. By this time I had cooled down and decided to call it a day! Alison completed a whopping 32 miles, whilst I tucked into coffee and traybake.

We’ve concluded that we’ll use Zwift for interval training and shorter rides. And in case you’re wondering … yes, I actually took a flask of coffee out on my indoor cycle! I highly recommend it.  

Victory or Vomit

Victory or Vomit!

Mindset is a wonderful tool and, based on past experience, making challenges public, makes me accountable especially when the kindness of family, friends and strangers is invested in donations and sponsorship for which I will be forever grateful. 

‘Vomit’ may sound like a harsh word but it truly describes the dread I’m feeling for this route!

But I have to keep reminding myself why I’m doing it… for Gillian and everyone affected by Parkinson’s. 

Currently, I’m overweight, not feeling my best and awaiting MRI results re. my back. Mornings are not great these days and it takes a while to get going! 

So today is Day 1 - Weight to shift, training and nutrition to nail and strength and stamina to build. On a mission to change this vomit mindset to victory!  

Why we are fundraising for Parkinson's UK

Thank you for visiting our fundraising page! We're taking part in Pedal Trossachs for Parkinson’s UK and would appreciate your support!

Janet:

In June 2016 I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  I embarked heavily on an exercise regime as, although medication helps with daily living, research shows that the only thing that slows progression is…EXERCISE.  For me, cycling, is my happy place - giving me freedom and independence.

It has it challenges: medication wearing off, attacks of dystonia in my feet and hands, right side weakness and due to breaking my ankle (now adorned with a plate and eleven screws) the ankle collapses and my foot constantly tries to slip out my shoe.

My friends are used to me cycling but what they can’t see is how hard it is; mentally and physically.  Having done this route before, in 2019, I’m still traumatised! I mean, those hills from the 75 mile mark and not forgetting the puncture going up the Crow Road, in the pouring rain! I’m sure I was last over the line and vowed…never again, but here I am!

So why am I doing it again? My PD and cycling touring buddy, Gillian, is having a hard time just now and the medication isn’t working well for her.  She’s started falling and her most recent fall resulted in a horrible head injury and fractured skull. I’m heartbroken but she’s a fighter and determined to bounce back - she is my motivation and I am dedicating this ride to her.

I am grateful that I can still get on a bike and I am so grateful to be doing this challenge with my amazing friend, Alison.  

Alison:

Alison - I’m cycling Pedal Trossachs with my cycling buddy and mentor, Janet.  I never think about Janet having PD when I cycle with her but I know that’s because she does a lot of work behind the scenes, e.g., fine tuning her medication and using her ‘rescue’ medication when she begins to switch off and is struggling.

Janet helped me train and cycle a very flat 96 miles last year, so we decided to take on this 100 mile extremely hilly challenge to raise money to support the work of Parkinson’s UK in Scotland.

This is going to be my most physically and mentally demanding challenging to date, however, the possibility of finding a cure is powerful motivation to train and hopefully complete the route.

Please help by sponsoring our cycling challenge. All the money raised will go towards ground-breaking research and life-changing support for the Parkinson's community.